Oct 17, 2017
Brian Mayer speaks with Carmen Roman, Ph.D. who is a
psychotherapist with 25 years of experience practicing in San Jose,
California. She works mainly with couples and families.
Today, she talks all about how to trust again after the pain of
divorce. She gives lots of great advice and strategies about
getting emotionally healthy and moving forward into a new
relationship. She also shares the many mistakes she has seen
in her experience that slow that progress. We hope you enjoy
today’s message. For more information and additional
resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- Carmen discusses the good news about moving past a
divorce. She says the experience we gain from the divorce can
help to not make the same mistakes again. With time to
reflect on what did and did not work previously can help with
- Some common mistakes to avoid include hoping that your partner
will complete you or make you whole. She also talks about the
mistake of hoping to change whatever we do not like in the other
person, but she describes that it is difficult if not impossible to
change someone else.
- Carmen says the key to recovery is to honor the grief process,
meaning we must walk through it in order to heal. Things like
actually writing a list of needs in the next partner is
critical. She also suggests one year to move through grief
and work past each milestone such as birthdays, anniversaries, and
- Once remarried, avoid comparisons to previous spouse. Be
clear about things like children, finances, and other family and
how each of you see that working.
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