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The Remarried Life

Feb 25, 2020

Brian Mayer talks about the blended family journey and the necessity of seeking out three other couples to walk alongside.  Some have referred to having a Paul (a couple ahead of you), a Barnabus (a couple in the same generally area in life) and a Timothy (a couple just a few steps behind).  If you can surround yourself with these three types of couples, you can live a more full and complete life.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at

Today's Goodies

  • We all know that if we stick with hanging around people just like us and in our stage of life, that things could get stagnant.  There is no growth there. 
  • This reminds me of growing up with the love of the game of tennis.  I was about 12 years old when I first learned to play tennis on an old worn out court the apartment complex that I lived in with my mom who was divorced from my dad. 
  • I began to eat, breathe, and sleep tennis. I could get enough of it.  Some days I played so many hours, I would have salt stains all over my hat and shirt from the endless hours of sweat. 
  • I definitely got better at what I was doing by playing with friends at the same skill level and age that I was at.  That seemed to work for a time, but then I began to plateau. 
  • Not knowing it at the time, but there were a couple of key ingredients that were added that helped propel me to honing my skills even more. 
  • What lifted me from the plateau and into a place where I performed even, was that I started to play against competitors who were more advanced and also by mentoring players that were a bit behind. 
  • Intuitively, you would think that by playing someone ahead of me that maybe I wouldn’t get anywhere and that I have what little confidence shaken.  The opposite happened.  I pressed in and pushed myself to try as best I could to keep up with them.  There were certainly moments where I was not getting anywhere on the scoreboard, but I thinking mentally and emotionally I gained strength. 
  • As some point I also began to mentor and help train younger tennis players.  By doing this I had to really slow down what I was doing and be able to teach it in a far more meaningful way so that they could get it.  As you know sometimes we do something for so long, that we just tend to get in a rhythm and feel like we don’t even know what we are doing. 
  • In slowing myself down, I really found myself being able to hone in and focus during my own tennis matches and so I ultimately performed better. 
  • So all this being said, how in the world does this have any meaning in your blended family journey.  Well it has a lot to with it and that we will explain now. 
  • What types of other couples should you surround yourself with in order to better your experience (and theirs for that matter):
    • A “Barnabus” Couple:  First you should find a couple just like you in the same stage of life you are in.  You may or may not be aware that Barnabus was a good friend and considered an equal to Paul.  He would go to bat for Paul in a moment’s notice.  They were equals in their life and could lean on each for equal support. 
    • A “Paul” Couple:  If you know anything about the Bible you know how wise and how great of a teacher Paul was.  He did not sugar coat but his letters would be stern guidance for many of the churches of his day who may not have been walking in the right way in the things they did and practiced.  In this way, you need a more seasoned couple who has been through more than you have in order to help teach you the right path.
    • A “Timothy: Couples:  This type of couple is a few years or maybe lots of years behind you.  As you know Timothy was a mentee under Paul and learned much from his wiser counterpart.  In the same way, you probably have much more you can teach than you realize.  It is a great obligation and priviledge to make sure you are training up those that are coming from behind. 
  • So ultimately in order to best grow, you should find a couple ahead of you in your journey, a couple at relatively the same place, and a couple that is behind. 
  • Obviously pray that these types of couples and blended families would come forth in your life rather than trying to force anything.
  • If you have these three types of couples in your life there is no doubt you will live a much more fulfilled life.    


  • None Mentioned

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I am more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
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