May 5, 2020
Brian Mayer talks about how spiritual or religious differences are
a very common issue that can cause problems in a remarriage.
This issue may be more common for remarrieds especially as you have
older and maybe more settled in your ways. We will talk about
this issue and give some helpful tips. We hope you are
inspired by today’s message. For more information and
additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- Today’s episode is all about how spiritual or religious
differences may cause a divide in your relationship and in your
- Let’s first talk about the difference between spirituality and
religion. These are different and each can cause it’s own
- Spirituality: being concerned with the human spirit or soul
instead of material or physical things.
- Religion: the belief in a superhuman controlling power,
especially a personal God.
- So that is the dictionary definition, but I like to define
these words in different terms.
- For me spirituality is all about a relationship with God.
It is a heart connection and everything else grows from
- Religion to me is more about the daily practice of working to
get toward God whether or not your heart is right or not. For
example someone can go to church, read the Bible, be a “good”
person and not necessarily have a close relationship with
- Now that we understand some of the differences, I want you to
ask yourself these questions:
- Are my partner on the same page spiritually?
- Are my partner on the same page with regard to religious
- If you are not on the same page spiritually, then you might
have the following issues:
- You will differ in how to have a relationship with God.
According to Christianity, God defines the only way to have a
relationship with God is to surrender to the lordship of Jesus
Christ. Other spiritual connections do not believe this and
in fact some argue that you don’t serve the same God.
- When times get tough, you will both be turning toward something
different. One will choose a personal relationship with a
living and resurrected savior, and as far as all other spiritual
connections it is my understand that there is no being that has
died in our place and was resurrected.
- When it comes to religious differences, these are more about
things happening in the here and now in your daily life. It
can cause issues like the following:
- Where to go to church if at all?
- What type of people to associate with? Those who are
fellow believers and who are not?
- What resource to use to gather strength for life.
Believers in Christianity will use the Bible and others will use
- What should the children believe? Some couples will say
that they can believe whatever they choose. This means that
they will be receiving the spiritual and religious foundation from
outside sources. So you may find that they choose neither and
choose something else. How would this feel to both of you if
- What holidays should be celebrated? Maybe you have
decided early on in your relationship to do more than one.
This works now but will it always work?
- When an outside third party is sought to help with your
marriage would you seek a Christian pastor? If so how would
that fit in your relationship?
- What will you use to define your moral compass which is what is
to be used as the instrument by which a person’s ability to judge
what is right and wrong and act accordingly.
- If you have differences in these areas what should think
- If you are dating and not yet married, you may want to
seriously consider everything we talked about today and weigh that
against pursuit of marriage. I am not here to tell you what
to do, but I will say that the Bible does say this about these
differences, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For
what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what
fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14.
- You might now be asking yourself, what if I am married to an
unbeliever or someone of a different faith. According to the
Bible, it states that you should not leave an unbeliever and that
the only time this is acceptable is when the unbeliever voluntarily
wants to go. See 1 Corinthians 7:13,15.
- What should you do:
- Have non-defensive conversations about your beliefs
- Understand each other’s childhood and where these beliefs may
be rooted and the importance of them.
- Ask questions about each other’s adolescence and whether or not
belief systems began to change.
- Ask each other about early adulthood and whether or not things
changed even further
- Talk about previous marriages. Was there an equal
yoke? If so what did you practice together and how did that
work? If there was an unequal yoke, talk about those
- Discuss present feelings and practices toward your spirituality
and religious practices. Brainstorm asking each other what if
questions about how certain practices would be resolved with each
- This is an important subject that you owe each to talk through
patiently and work on a way to resolve or respectfully accept
Thanks For Listening!
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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it
is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are
binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in
about a minute! Take care.