Jul 28, 2020
Brian Mayer talks about taking care of yourself. In a
blended family we often get pulled in so many directions that we
exhaust ourselves to the point of upset and frustration. This
episode to help give you permission to slow down and refresh.
That being said, I am going to practice what I preach and take a
short break from the podcast of about 3 weeks and return refreshed!
We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For
more information and additional resources please visit our website
- Do you need a break? Do you need some time for
yourself? In blended families, that time seems pretty much
non-existent. But in order for you to run the full marathon
sometimes you need these breaks. In today’s episode we will
talk about this and more.
- And to begin, I wanted to let you know that the podcast will be
taking a short 3 week break, so that I can do what I am asking you
to do and that is to take better care of myself.
- Have you ever been on an airplane and heard the flight
attendant that in the event of a loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen
masks will descend and that you are encouraged to put your own mask
on first. This might seem cruel that you are putting yourself
first but the ultimate goal is to keep yourself alive so that you
can help others.
- The same goes for your blended family experience. If you
are not taking care of yourself then eventually you will be no good
- I often think about running a marathon when I compare it to the
life of a blended family. I ran my first and only marathon to
this point about 4 years ago. The training for the marathon
was an interesting parallel to how I think life should be
- First, you start off slow with some short runs. This
might be compared to the initial period in a blended family where
you might not be fully and completely engaged in all areas because
you are busy getting your bearings.
- The runs then get longer the more comfortable you are and the
same with your blended family. You will begin to put yourself
into situations around things like helping the stepkids with
homework or discipline of them.
- Then throughout the training there is usually one day a week
that you will do a sprint. You know what these days look like
in the life of your blended family. Unfortunately you don’t
have much time to think. It is all about getting the family
up, breakfast served, kids out the door, then onto work, then
dinner, then cleanup, then homework, the off to bed and then do it
all over again.
- Also throughout the training, there are usually a couple of
days a week where there is complete rest. This is the hard
part of the blended family experience. Getting these breaks
for full days is sometimes hard if not impossible. So you
must find moments, minutes and maybe sometimes hours to
- In the midst of all of this physical training, you must also
take care of your body by eating right and hydrating.
Emotionally and mentally you must take of yourself by limiting or
dealing with stress in better ways.
- All of these things are done so that you can run your best race
on race day which is often months away. The same goes for the
blended life, in that you must have periods of both exertion and
rest so that you can run your best race as life goes on.
- So all this is great in theory, but how do we make this
practical? Let’s talk about some simple ways to make this
happen that hopefully won’t take too much energy.
- First I want you to take some deep breaths and
really think about how your body is changing in how it feels when
you do this. Deep breathing over periods of time can produce
calm in the body.
- Go for a walk and use all of your
senses. Think about what you are seeing, smelling,
and hearing especially. Be grateful if you can do this and
for what you are experiencing.
- Stay in your pajamas just a bit longer.
Give yourself permission to fight against the expectations of
others. This one is hard for those of us that always think we
should be doing something.
- Look at what tasks can be delayed, temporarily not
done, or permanently deleted from your life. Don’t
take too much time thinking about this because that defeats the
purpose of removing some pressure and stress.
- Tell your family what you are doing and ask that they
do the same. In other words model some of the
behaviors and let them know it is okay to do these from time to
- So after I am done recording this podcast, I want to take some
deep breaths and maybe take a walk around the work complex and soak
in the sun, trees, and bird for just a bit.
- Please take care of yourself and each other while we go on this
short hiatus from the podcast. We will return again in about
Thanks For Listening!
- With so many things that take time in our lives, I more
grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast
- If you liked this episode and believe that it would be
beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share
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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it
is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are
binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in
about a minute! Take care.