Dec 1, 2020
Brian Mayer discusses her needs and his needs in this two part
series. It is true that often women desire to be loved and
men desire to be respected. But what do those two things
actually mean. We will talk about this today so that you can start
giving more of what your spouse really needs in your
relationship. We hope you are inspired by today’s
message. For more information and additional resources please
visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- It is often said that a woman’s biggest need in a relationship
is love and a man’s biggest need in a relationship is respect. So
for purposes of our two part series on this subject, we are going
to go with the premises that this true.
- The funny thing is though that it sometimes is hard to give one
when we are not receiving the other. So if a man does not feel
respect he probably won’t love and if a woman does not feel loved
she probably won’t show respect.
- In today’s episode, we will be spending time with the females
and talking about this love need.
- This love and respect need is detailed in a book called Love
and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs if you want to read more on
- Apparently the backbone of the books premise was created by
asking the following question to both men and women. “What would
you choose, to be left alone and unloved or feel inadequate and
disrespected by everyone?”
- Most women said they would rather feel inadequate and
disrespected than to be left alone and unloved.
- So as you know I always like to return to the dictionary to
understand what is love. Love is “an intense feeling of deep
affection.” Alone means “that one one else is
- It is hard to know from where this deep sense that love is more
important to a woman. Is it something that is hard wired in?
Is it something that has developed over time through the
centuries? That is certainly a hard question to answer but
most likely the answer probably is both.
- Let’s talk about some of the ways women feel loved the most in
a relationship. So men may need to listen up here!
- Showing Love through words, touch, or actions.
This is different for different women and so identifying which one
- Feeling safe. This is another very important
way in which a women may feel love. The safety not only means
safe from criminals or people that might hurt her, but safe to be
vulnerable and open without fear. It can also mean feeling
safe in a loyal monogamous relationship whether there is no other
romantic partner. It can also mean safe from alcohol, drug
abuse or domestic violence.
- Feeling Like An Equal. This one can be tough
for men because sometimes men want to make decisions and be
responsible for them. But this can sometimes come across as
- Feeling Appreciated. She wants to be
appreciated for the things she does for her husband and
family. All too often men can get complacent and feel like
there does not have to be thanks given for everyday things that a
- Being There for Her. This can mean listening
when she is venting. It means sometimes dropping what you are
doing to go do something with her that she finds
- Being Vulnerable for Her. This one can also be
difficult for men in that we can often want to play Superman
because we feel like if we aren’t seen as perfect then we don’t
measure up. But generally the opposite is true in that
imperfection, often endears us to our partner.
- We hope that this gives some ideas on what would help a woman
feel loved and I am sure for the women listening today there are
probably items on the list you might disagree with or even others
that you would want to add.
Thanks For Listening!
- With so many things that take time in our lives, I more
grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast
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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it
is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are
binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in
about a minute! Take care.