Jan 23, 2018
Brian Mayer talks about staying connected with each other through
doing things together as a couple. These ideas don’t have to
be expensive and they don’t often involve leaving the home.
In honor of episode 25, we will discuss 25 simple, fun, and cheap
ideas for you to strengthen your bond and connection. We hope
you enjoy today’s message. For more information and
additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- Why are rituals of connection (date nights) important?
Your relationship with each other as a couple is the most important
relationship you will ever have. Obviously if you believe in
a higher spiritual power, this relationship should fall just
under. But the point is it should be higher than children,
other family members, friends, and coworkers.
- Connection #1: Play cards. Learn a simple card game
- Connection #2: Plan an indoor picnic complete with either
a table and chairs set up in the living room or a blanket on the
floor. Get as creative as you want here!
- Connection #3: Play a video game together like Wii
Bowling. Keep it simple and easy so that you can have lots of
time to talk while playing.
- Connection #4: Build a fire indoors or outdoors and talk
about what you want life to be like in 5 years. Be careful to
listen to each other and do what you can to support each other’s
dreams when possible.
- Connection #5: Talk about your favorite childhood
toys. Compare notes with each other and make sure to ask lots
of questions. Questions like did play alone or with
friends? What was the favorite toy you received as a gift.
- Connection #6: Read a book together. I don’t
necessarily mean reading a marriage book either. Pick
something fun like a novel or biography. Take turns reading
aloud and then discuss each night.
- Connection #7: Cook together. If you don’t want to
make a whole mean then plan a dessert.
- Connection #8: Watch a movie outside. I normally would
not recommend a movie but if you set it up in a different way it
can create an indelible memory.
- Connection #9: Beverage Tasting. For those of you
who are okay with drinking wine for example buy several bottles,
pour some sample sizes, taste and talk. You can do
non-alcoholic beverages like root beer. You could even do a
cheese tasting instead.
- Connection #10: Listen to a podcast like this one
together. Then discuss it afterward.
- Connection #11: Take an online language course together
in Spanish, Italian, or whatever language you like. Speak to
each other in that language and encourage one another.
- Connection #12: Pull out the wedding photo album or
video. Talk about it.
- Connection #13: Take a course at the local community
college together. You might be able to find free low cost
courses that are offered to adults that come with no grade
- Connection #14: Attend the local art museum. Take
it slow and talk about what you are seeing. Do not focus on
what you like and what you don’t like or what your partner likes
and does not like. Simply observe colors, shapes, scenes etc
and share them.
- Connection #15: Rewrite your vows. Then repeat what
you each have written to each other. You could even print
them out and frame them.
- Connection #16: Have coffee at the local coffee
shop. Plan how long you will stay. This helps to not
feel rushed or give a sense of not knowing for how long you should
- Connection #17: Go for a walk. Observe the scenes
and simply comment on what you see.
- Connection #18: Work out together whether it be at the
gym or a run or light jog outdoors. Training for a race together is
another fun idea.
- Connection #19: Attend a parade of homes event
together. Talk about what you see and what ideas you might
like to incorporate into your own home.
- Connection #20: Get a couple’s massage. The new
thing is to go for a float in saltwater.
- Connection #21: Find a lake, rent a canoe, and gently
paddle around for a couple of hours
- Connection #22: Go for a hike. Remember to choose a
hike that is somewhat challenging but not too difficult.
- Connection #23: Go to an antique store. Talk about
what you see and wonder aloud where an item may have been and what
it was used for.
- Connection #24: Volunteer together. You could spend
a few hours a week at the animal shelter, local homeless shelter,
or many other ideas. My wife and I volunteer at our church to
be marriage mentors for couples in need.
- Connection #25: Babysit together. Find another
couple that needs a break and offer to babysit together. Make
sure you each play an equal role.
- Remember while the ideas are important, it is more important
that you are connecting with one another. Always keep that at
the forefront of what you choose to do.
- Lots of obstacles will get in your way. Time is
one. However, you must be intentional to carve out
time. A solution my wife and I have found is to place the
event on our smartphone calendar. It is shared and so we both
can see it easily. Putting things on a calendar, do several
things. One is that helps make it a priority so that nothing
gets in the way and two it creates a sense of anticipation.
- One other obstacle may be that one of you simply “does not like
doing this activity.” I will challenge you here that you must
get that phrase out of your vocabulary. I do not like grocery
shopping, however I do this all the time with my wife because
spending time and investing in our relationship is so much more
important to me than the activity.
- Finally, if you are in your second or subsequent marriage ask
your spouse to listen to this episode. If you are not yet
married again, file this episode away and remember to pull these
things out at the right time to help in your future relationship
- Today’s Resource is Brian’s Brain!
Thanks For Listening!
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