Apr 10, 2018
Brian Mayer hosts the three part mini-series to help you develop
habits that can make the relationship with your significant other
more happy healthy. These habits are based on couples expert
Dr. John Gottman and his Sound Relationship House. There are
seven levels with each building on the other. In today’s
message, which is part 2 of the series we discuss Level 2 – Sharing
Fondness and Admiration, Level 3 – Turn Toward Instead of Away, and
Level 4 – The Positive Perspective. We hope you enjoy today’s
message. For more information and additional resources please
visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- Level 2 – Share Fondness and Admiration.
Partners must proactively scan around for what each other is doing
correctly and then pointing it out. Building a culture of
appreciation, fondness, affection and respect. This is
considered a direct antidote to Contempt which is one the Four
- Develop a Thanksgiving checklist where you tell your partner
1-3 things per day that you appreciate about them.
- Make it a point to touch your partner everyday in a meaningful
- Level 3 – Turn Toward Instead of Away.
Even small questions and statements are emotional bids for
connection. The more often we turn toward and acknowledge our
partner the more connected we become. The more we turn away
or against these, the less healthy our relationship
- Discussing work stress and being able to “vent” to each other
about stresses outside the relationship is critical.
- Continue to build the emotional love tank by listening and
understanding. Don’t try to problem solve or give advice
- Level 4 – The Positive Perspective. This
is really a bonus level that occurs when the first three levels are
all working properly. When Love Maps, Sharing Fondness and
Admiration, and Turning Toward are all a priority and done
correctly then life’s little issues usually becoming less of a big
Thanks For Listening!
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As always remember that marriage is nothing something you have,
it is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are
binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in
about a minute! Take care.