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The Remarried Life

Apr 10, 2018

Brian Mayer hosts the three part mini-series to help you develop habits that can make the relationship with your significant other more happy healthy.  These habits are based on couples expert Dr. John Gottman and his Sound Relationship House.  There are seven levels with each building on the other.  In today’s message, which is part 2 of the series we discuss Level 2 – Sharing Fondness and Admiration, Level 3 – Turn Toward Instead of Away, and Level 4 – The Positive Perspective.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at

Today's Goodies

  • Level 2 – Share Fondness and Admiration.  Partners must proactively scan around for what each other is doing correctly and then pointing it out.  Building a culture of appreciation, fondness, affection and respect.  This is considered a direct antidote to Contempt which is one the Four Horsemen. 
    • Develop a Thanksgiving checklist where you tell your partner 1-3 things per day that you appreciate about them.     
    • Make it a point to touch your partner everyday in a meaningful way. 
  • Level 3 – Turn Toward Instead of Away.  Even small questions and statements are emotional bids for connection.  The more often we turn toward and acknowledge our partner the more connected we become.  The more we turn away or against these, the less healthy our relationship becomes. 
    • Discussing work stress and being able to “vent” to each other about stresses outside the relationship is critical.
    • Continue to build the emotional love tank by listening and understanding.  Don’t try to problem solve or give advice unless asked.       
  • Level 4 – The Positive Perspective.  This is really a bonus level that occurs when the first three levels are all working properly.  When Love Maps, Sharing Fondness and Admiration, and Turning Toward are all a priority and done correctly then life’s little issues usually becoming less of a big deal.      



  • None mentioned.

Thanks For Listening!

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As always remember that marriage is nothing something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.