Jun 12, 2018
Brian Mayer discusses how communicating with an ex spouse or ex
partner can be complicated especially when a new relationship is
present. Brian talks about the reasons why exes may stay in
touch. He also discusses research regarding how new
relationships do when communication with an ex-partner is
happening. We hope you enjoy today’s episode. For more
information and additional resources please visit our website at
- Sometimes it is inevitable that you or your partner
must communicate with each other. Obviously if
children are involved communication must still take place.
However just because this must happen doesn’t mean it will be
easy. There are of course lots of other reasons that people
will stay in touch with an ex-partner as well.
- Let’s explore the main reasons that someone
may keep in touch with an ex-spouse.
- Have Children Together
- Work Together
- Business Partners
- The relationship ended amicably and want to maintain a
- There are still romantic feelings present
- There are mutual friends and social
- As we discussed some of the reasons, I can almost guess that
depending on whether you stayed close to your ex-partner or are in
a position where your current partner is staying close to their
ex-partner that it probably brought up completely different
- How do these reasons play out in the current
- In a couple of studies by Lindsay Rodriguez, she looked at how
often they communicate with an ex-partner, why they maintain this
contact, and the ultimate outcome of the current
relationship. I will link to a great article in Psychology
Today that discusses this study and our topic today in more
- So we have already discussed some of the reasons that
ex-partners stay in contact. Let’s now discuss what
the biggest reason for continued contact is according to the
- The biggest reason that people stay in contact with an
ex-spouse has to do with their feelings toward
that person and toward that relationship. They were
also more prone to stay connected if the breakup was more
positive. One final reason for communication is not moving
past the break-up.
- Now what might all of this say about your current
relationship and how healthy it is?
- The study showed the communication alone was not a determinant
of the feelings toward the current partner or the
- However, the frequency of that contact did have an
- Should you keep in contact with an
- The reasons behind why you are doing so are
- Additionally, you should take into consideration your
current partner’s feelings on the matter.
- Other research was quoted in the article that says that it
can be more difficult to get over feelings if you are in
constant communication with an ex-partner.
- As with most issues, there is no real right or wrong except
when it comes to the motives behind the contact.
Unfortunately these motives can often be hidden in a
current relationship and so making it tougher to come
- If unhealthy motives are not the issue then clearly
some compromise whether each of you may give a little on the
issue might be the best course of action.
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