Jun 26, 2018
Brian Mayer discusses how technology including phones, tablets,
computers, and of course television continue to invade our lives
and families. He also discusses ways to limit this and
connect more as a couple and a family. We hope you enjoy
today’s episode. For more information and additional
resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- Did you know that the average American spends over 10
hours a day of screen time. This includes
television, smart phone, computer, tablet, DVR, DVD, Video Games,
and other multimedia devices. Wow that is a lot of time
devoted to these! Now of course there is some overlap with
work and school being devoted to learning and getting things done,
but it is still a lot of time.
- Society has also changed the way we communicate with
each other. Face to face meetings where you are
physically present have become more rare. Telephone calls are
also becoming more rare. Even emailing which was once said to
have replaced these is now itself being replaced by
texting, instant messaging, snapchatting, and all
sort of other iterations of online communications.
- I heard somewhere that 70% of couples report that
technology has caused problems in their
relationship. It could be that time spent on devices
has simply increased the disconnection that the couple feels.
There are also instances of connecting with other individuals that
eventually turn into emotional or even physical affairs.
- Of course many people now meet and start relationships
online that eventually move into face to face
relationship, so it is no wonder that some don’t give this up even
after they are married. There is also much less stigma
surrounding meeting online because it is so much more
- Regarding kids, there are studies out there that link
mental health issues likes increased depression and anxiety with
increased screen time. Now to be sure the causation
has not been established, because it may be hard to detect which is
the cause. Is increased screen time causing depression, or does
depression cause kids to turn to increased screen time. Studies are
continuing to be done.
- The millennial generation are also reducing face to
face time at a significant rate. Instead they
continue the conversations from school to online forums in the
evening. As we know this has resulted in kids being unable to
get away from bullying in which they are not walking away from
issues at school.
- What can you do to reduce the hindrance that screen
time may be having? Some of these thing are quite
obvious but they bear repeating.
- Begin by tracking your technology time.
Simply knowing and understanding how much you use can go a long way
to motivating people to make changes.
- First, have a conversation with the family
about the effect that screen time may be having on relationships
within the family, outside the family, and on the productivity
regarding work or school.
- Brainstorm ways to reduce usage. Make
sure to allow your kids to brainstorm with you. At this
stage, tell them that nothing is off the table and that all ideas
are valued. Later you can begin to look at how realistic the
- In addition to brainstorming ways to reduce technology make
sure to also brainstorm what you will do
instead. Maybe some nights kids can play, some
nights they can read, some nights you can play games as a
family. Remember to mix up and give the family variety so
that every night is not the same.
- Make a contract that each member of the family
can sign noting what kinds of screen times they can have, when they
can have it, and for how long.
- Make dinner a no technology time. Use
this time to ask open ended questions about the day and how each
person is doing.
- Here is one I just learned recently that is helping me.
On most smart phones there is setting that you can turn
your screen grayscale. It definitely makes
the phone less appealing and I am finding I am spending a
bit less time on it solely because of this. Some studies
suggest doing this reduces screen time by about 15%.
- Have regular check-ins to assess how everyone is
doing. Give praise when you notice screen time has
- No doubt technology has a place in our lives and there is
little to no chance that most of us will be able to remove it
completely from our lives. However, I hope today’s
episode can help you think more about this issue and then implement
some things together to help reduce the dependence on
Thanks For Listening!
- With so many things that take time in our lives, I more
grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast
- If you liked this episode and believe that it would be
beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share
it using the social media buttons on this page.
- It would be extremely helpful, it you would consider leaving a
rating and review on Apple devices at iTunes
or on Android devices at Google
Play as it will help the podcast reach others who
need help in rebuilding life and relationships.
Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people
just like you who get and give support. Please join today!
As always remember that marriage is nothing something you have,
it is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are
binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in
about a minute! Take care.