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The Remarried Life

Sep 11, 2018

Brian Mayer talks about the difficulties that divorce presents for both men and women.  These difficulties are different for each gender and can cause issues for both in different ways.  It can also certain impact the preparation and health or a remarriage.  Today we will explore those issues and the outcomes of this based on a study done just a few months ago.  We hope you enjoy today’s episode.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at

Today's Goodies

  • Most of us know that divorce causes financial strain, mental health struggles, physical health issues, and relationship strain with children and family and difficulties in generally socially. 
  • However, what most of us may not know is the difference in impact that a divorce can have on the different genders.  There is a lot of research out there about how men’s and women’s brains are different. 
    • Some examples of the differences can include (remember these are generalities and don’t apply to everyone):
      • Women are relational, Men are logical
      • Women are process oriented, Men are results oriented
      • Women are nurturing, Men are disciplinary
      • Women talk more, Men Talk Less
      • Women generally need someone to process stress with, while men need time alone
  • It would stand to reason because of these differences then that men and women would respond to the stress of divorce differently. 
  • This difference has been borne out in a recent study called Gender Differences in the Consequences of Divorce: A Study of Multiple Outcomes that was published a few months ago
  • The study looked at health and well-being, social, economic, and housing and domestic issues.   Three finding came out of the study:
    • Men were more vulnerable to in the short term to issues of health and well-being
    • In the medium term, the differences in both women and men lessened in all sorts of the areas measured
    • In the long term, women suffered more losses in household income, increased risk of poverty, and a heavier burden of single parenting. 
  • Let’s look at the 4 areas that the study included to take a look at some of the differences. 
  • Economic Outcomes
    • The burden falls more heavily on women.  As just mentioned more steep decline in household income.  By contrast men actually improve their financial standing in post-divorce years.  There are lots of reasons for this difference, but one suggests that the burden of raising children and reduces the ability to work harder to move to different jobs and or get promotions. 
  • Housing and Domestic Outcomes
    • Women are generally more likely to lose home ownership than men in part due to the economic outcomes talked about above.  One interesting part of the study talked about how men increased time spent on household activities and women reduced. 
  • Health and Wellbeing Outcomes
    • Men who divorce experience more health declines due to divorce than women.  It is known that men experience more health benefits while married so it stands to reason that a divorce can cause health to swing the other direction. 
    • Another explanation for why men have more difficulties is that women are usually more aware of the marital relationship issues and will work harder to hold it together.  However women are also usually the first to start the divorce talk because they feel they have exhausted the efforts.  This can often catch a man by surprise therefore the mental and physical effects will go into the post-divorce period. 
  • Social Outcomes
    • Custodial parents have more difficulty with the solo parenting and childcare piece. 
    • Non custodial parents face difficulty in maintaining contact with the children.  This is usually the man creating more difficulty with that piece in them. Research suggests that men suffer more because of this issue. 
    • Repartnering is also an issue and seems to affect women more.  Here are some reasons according to the research:
      • Women typically have custody of the children making it more difficult to repartner because women without children may be more attractive according to the study
      • Older people according to the research have a more difficult time on the remarriage market and this effect is more pronounced for women. 
      • Women often have fewer chances to meet others due to the childcare obligations. 
  • Overall there are lots of difficulties that both genders face and many of them are different.  Hopefully this is eye opening to the fact that both men and women struggle with divorce in their own way and that often knowing this could help you as you proceed forward but also may help you see your ex-spouse if you are divorced in a different light.    


  • None Mentioned Today

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As always remember that marriage is nothing something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.