Jul 2, 2019
Brian Mayer talks the difficult subject of thinking about
divorce again. It is very common to have these thoughts again
in a subsequent marriage. We will talk about this issue and
some of the issues that could be a signal that you are beginning to
walk down that path. You have to make you own decision to be
sure but this episode will hopefully help you to pause and process
through this pretty significant issue. We hope you
enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional
resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
- If you are divorced and remarried to someone else and have ever
thought about divorce you are very normal. This is a very
common thought. Of course the frequency of the thought along
with the severity of the circumstances will certainly determine the
likelihood this might actually happen.
- Fun fact about marriages and divorce, by a man by the name of
Glynn Wolfe holds the record for most monogamous marriages in U.S.
history at 29. He even remarried 3 of the women he had
previous divorced. He probably also holds the record for most
thoughts about divorce most likely although something we cannot
- Now back to thoughts and actions that might be driving you
toward divorce, but before that I must admit I have had thoughts
about divorce in my second and current marriage. These
thoughts actually occurred maybe 1-2 years into my marriage.
Fortunately it was only said once and was in anger (not great but
quickly determined there was no basis in reality for
- Now let’s talk a bit about the things you may have thought
about or actually that could mean that you thoughts about divorce
could have more substance.
- If you think about divorce when you are not emotional or
- You have discussed divorce with a close friend, family member,
clergy or other professional.
- You have thoughts about what it might be like to be alone again
at times when you are not angry.
- You have researched divorce attorneys.
- You are hiding money or have set up a separate bank
- You currently have separate bank accounts and you are doing
things with your money that you know your spouse may not
- You have discussed specific plans for divorce with your spouse
and have thought a lot about how and what you might say.
- You have had thoughts about how the kids would be shared and
how time might be divided up.
- You have been separated with your current spouse in the past or
- If you have thought or done these things above then for sure
you are probably further along in your desire for divorce than
simply just having a fleeting thought.
- Now do any of these mean that you are working toward divorce
without potential for return, of course not. You can always
make a different choice.
- Remember though physical abuse is a much different animal and
safety is the number one priority. You must ensure you are
safe first and all else takes a back seat.
- Other than physical abuse, you can work on the issue of
thinking about divorce in a constructive manner with your spouse
assuming of course they are looking to work for it as
- Just remember there is always hope and you can turn things
around. This happened for me when I had a brief thought about
throwing in the towel on my second marriage.
Thanks For Listening!
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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it
is something you do. Talk to you next week unless you are
binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in
about a minute! Take care.